"I'm the Piper"

Hey,

Before I get into Vancouver and Spokane, I wanted to tell you all about "the Piper" from Eugene. After soundcheck, I stepped outside the stage door to make a phone call. I noticed a woman maybe 100 yards away, motioning to me. She pointed to herself, then to me, to herself, then me again. So I thought, "ah- a lunatic!" and pretended not to notice her. Undeterred, she walked down the loading ramp towards me. At this point, I couldn't help but notice that she was dressed head to toe as a pixie. Little pixie skirt, the Peter Pan-ish hat, the whole nine. Oh..... and she had bagpipes.

She looked at me and said "I'm the Piper!" Which, I, errr... well, she certainly WAS the Piper. I wouldn't have mistaken her for, say, a violinist. But the only response I could think of was "Excuse me?"

"I'm the Piper" she said again.

Bemused, I said "OK, but what does that have to do with ME?"

"Are you the guard?" she asked. At this point I got it: this clearly messed up pixie had decided that being "the Piper" would grant her admission into the show. As if no one would notice that the show didn't feature a fucking bagpipe player in a pixie outfit. It's almost clever, if completely stupid. A fine line, indeed (Spinal Tap, anyone?).

So I told her I wasn't the guard, and walked away to continue my phone call. She walked right on through the stage door. Of course, there's a security booth on the other side, so I felt no need to alert the authorities to the potential threat of a bagpipe-toting pixie.

Twenty minutes later, I finished up my call, and headed back through the security door. And there's our favorite pixie, arguing with the head of security that if only he would inform Conan of her arrival, he'd definitely let her in. Because.... she's the Piper! I wish I had a photo for you all.

Ah! I just found a photo!

Please, people. "I'm the Piper" is not the secret passphrase.